As promised, I’m here today to give you the inside scoop on black market items regularly stocked by the ferret. I can assure you that, shady as he may seem, all these objects do, in fact, do what they say they do. Are they worth the price? Well … that depends on what the ferret is charging on any given day.
The ferret has managed to harvest minions that will do your bidding during seven giveaways before becoming exhausted, and, to put it bluntly, keeling over and dying. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure their death is quick and painless. Pretty sure. You don’t have to feel bad for using them. Really.
Minions come in three varieties.
The optimistic minion assumes you love every egg. If you have not responded to an egg by the end of its run, he’ll opt you in.
This egg is great!!!!!! Just great!!!
The pessimistic minion thinks every egg sucks. If you haven’t responded to an egg by the end of its run, he’ll turn it down–and harvest your karma.
These eggs suck, every one of ‘em!
If you’re ready for a wild ride, put a manic minion to work for you. No one knows what the manic minion will do, so watch out! He may blow all your karma on a kitty bank. He may turn down the best egg to be laid in centuries. He has the power to opt in or out, and to use karma at his (rather dubious) discretion. But hey, at least you won’t let eggs you’re going to miss pass you by while doing nothing.
As far as the ferret is concerned, staring at the goose’s ridiculous mug every day is torture enough. At the very least, you should be able to dress her as you like. Thus, he offers an array of goose costumes, including …
Independence Day Goose
Friday the 13th Goose
Royal Wedding Goose (also makes a good Royal Pregnancy Goose)
How many of our goosers remember rockin’ karma old school? That’s right, the site launched with this goose employed. What happened to her? Nobody really knows, although I’ve heard rumors about a PETA rescue mission. No matter, we found another magic goose!
The ferret’s last objects give you the ability to see things other goosers can’t see. Oh, they’re much better than psychedelic drugs. Check them out!
Ever wonder how popular a particular giveaway is? Heat Vision will give you insight into how many users have entered so far.
Of course, we know that it’s not JUST about user entries; it’s about karma, too.
Karma Vision will let you see an approximation of how much karma has been thrown at an egg.
Wondering whether you should be hoarding your karma for a REALLY GOOD egg down the line? The Egg Scope will let you see one, and only one, future egg. Use wisely!
(Oh, yeah, you won’t know if you’ve used wisely till after you’ve used it. Sorry ’bout that.)
So, there we have it. The ferret is always looking to get his hands on some more
illegal underground deals for you. So start saving those shinies!